MND169

so, a chick that i know on facebook posted about how the newest episode of Game of Thrones upset her because a horse died, a 7 year old was still breast feeding, there was still incest, and an actor she likes took a pike through the knee.

she then continued on with "i'm reading the books so i can skip the parts i don't like" essentially.

That was when i realized that she was one of the illiterate, intentionally stupid, horrible people who don't deserve to share things like my oxygen. -_- she is the reason that Tom Bombadil was not in the movies in any way shape or form. She is the reason there is suddenly a gryphon aided night-time sneak attack at the end of Prince Caspian now. She is the reason that every book i've ever loved has been turned into one of the worlds worst movies. Her. Specifically. Because there are producers, and directors and probably writers out there who have seen comments from her or people like her enough that they seem to think that that's what people want. For them to take a book - a perfectly good, enjoyable, sometimes scary, sometimes creepy, sometimes awesome, sometimes terrible book - and make a mostly mediochre half-assed movie variation on it that has little/nothing to do with the original.

and really the only true downside to this is that i am pretty good friends with her sister and i don't want to hurt her sister's feelings by calling her up and saying, "Hey, you're sister is so stupid it hurts me, and i'm going to do everything in my power to never EVER speak to her, or hear from her again _E_V_E_R_." but GOD do i want to. If i could find a way to do it without causing pain to other people, i would illiminate this girl from existance.

also, this leads into something i wanted to talk about anyway; Peter Pan.

I've always liked Mary Martin's Peter Pan which was a video of a production of the play essentially, and it was my FAVORITE movie of all times as a kid. then eventually i saw the disney movie and just wanted to shoot myself. THEN in about 2008, someone (maybe even Disney) made a NEW movie version, that had a lot of the lines from the play that i loved and a bit more. And i really liked that a lot. and now, i've finally read the book. And it turns out that for the most part, that movie was the closest to the book over all. There were certain bits that the play had that the movie didn't - Tinker Bell asking the children of the world to clap to save her life, the lost boys followed by the "red skins" followed by the pirates followed by the animals (altho in all fairness it should have gone lost boys, pirates, "red skins", animals, but whatever - but more than 90% of the book was in that 2008 movie. and they did a damn good job. and as i read the book and realized that, it made me incredibly happy ^.^ the movie did add some things. and there were some things lost from the book, but the book is also INCREDIBLY dated... to put some of that stuff in would have made it actually not make sense within the boundries of current society.

So, long story short, i love the 2008 Peter Pan movie, i LOVE the HBO series of George R. R. Martin's Game of Thrones, and i HATE people who are purposefully stupid to the point where it affects someone else. ^.^ yay! Now... to go to work lol

MND169

I'm engaged!!! Finally!!! LoL just one of the many things i've ranted and raved about throughout my history with this little blog ^.^ My ring is beautiful and something i never in a million years would have picked or asked for myself, which makes it even more special ^.^ i love it, and him, so much.

The "new" (here three months later LOL) roommate is still pretty awesome, and Boo and i are doing great (see above LOL) the new apartment is still WAY awesome, excepting the leaking in the basement which rapidly appears to be turning to black mold -_- *heavy sigh* But aside from that everything else is pretty awesome on that front ^.^

And this is the part where i explain that there is something ridiculously wrong with me. I have a full time job. I will have benefits within the next four to five months. I have a man who loves me, takes care of me, provides for me, and does everything in his power to make me happy. I have a home that i love and would be delighted to show to anyone; friends, family, strangers.

I suppose it's just human nature to want more, and one of those things that you're just supposed to sit on and squash and make disappear. I want friends. hell, i'd settle for A friend if they were in the area and available to do stuff with me. I want someone that i can occasionally go to the mall with. or maybe the gym. Someone that i can get together with and just have girl time. Boo suggested a girl we both know, and i thought about it. I even tried it once. And she's nice, and generally sweet, but she uses people and has the average intelligence of a doorknob. -_- even taking all of that into account, i STILL tried REALLY hard because i get so fucking lonely.

I wanted to bring my cat down, or get a new kitteh or something like that. Hell i was willing to settle for fish. Boo and the Roommate don't want a cat around cuz it'd be too much of a bother for them. and when i asked my cat if she wanted to move down here with us, she said no. emphatically. And if you think a cat can't tell you how it feels about an idea, you've never actually paid any attention what so ever to a cat. She is old, she is tired, and she is comfortable where she is. She would be delighted if i would please move back and take care of her, and she probably doesn't understand why that's not gonna happen. but she has no interest in leaving her home, even for me.

So, when i have time to myself now... all i end up doing is trying to burn up the hours until Boo gets home because i'm lonely, and let's face it, internet-stoopid. Yes i've heard of these things called torrents, but believe me i have spent time trying to figure out where to get them and how, and it did me no good. we're talking like fucking three hours one day. and without someone to talk me through it, i'm just too fucking stupid to figure it out. it drives me nuts.

it drives me batshit insane, that if someone doesn't actually link something for me, or if i don't already know the specific web address of something, chances are i can't find it because i'm stupid. I can't think of any other reason, because i've seen countless other people spend like half a second finding exactly what i was looking for, and then look at me in that tone of voice and all i can say is "herp derp i'm a tard"

i just feel like i must still be doing something wrong, and i don't know what it is. I have the man of my dreams, i have a home that if it's not the one of my dreams it's pretty damn close, i have a job that provides me with the necessary income to do what i want when i want (for the most part)... i just have no friends.

like i said, stupid. *sigh*

MND169

another person, who is younger than me, and i think younger than my sister, has a child. Kids that i knew when i was a kid, who were "little" kids in my mind now HAVE little kids.

I don't even have a house i feel comfortable living in. I have no where to go when i'm totally miserable without feeling like i'm encroaching on someone else.

I am finally moving. finally. in January.  Into another townhouse. with another roommate.

Don't get me wrong, i like the new roommate, but i liked the roommate before this one too. There's a huge difference between friends and people you can live with. But the options presented to me as i see it were "Well, either we have a roommate, or we can't move and we have to live in cardboard boxes on the street when the lease is up." because while both of us work, apparently neither of us works enough. And i'm pretty sure that suggesting a second job (which i'm not above doing) would result in a lot of... unhappiness.

I AM sad that i do'nt get to see him all the time, and that we can't spend every waking moment together. But i'm gonna be more sad if we move in with someone else - again - and it  turns out to be totally insane. again.

And, before anyone says anything, i expressed almost the exact word-for-word sentiments when the subject of moving was brought up originally and in several subsequent conversations. My opinions on this subject were discarded because "Well, he's not gonna try to screw us over like she does."

*sigh* I'm actually looking forward to this because i think it will be a) good to not be living with other women - turns out i hate most of them, look at my surprised face - and b) Boo will have someone who shares his interests who may be willing to participate in Boo's chosen forms of entertainment.

It still won't be my house, and i still won't have the final say in anything that happens anywhere. But at least i won't be ashamed to ask my parents down to visit or something. I still won't have the real room for the things that i care about, like my book shelves and my movies and my sewing. I still won't be in total control of my kitchen, and i still wont' be able to do what i want when i want. But so far it still seems like a definite improvement. so that's something. *sigh*

and people wonder why i play video games and WoW so much. blargh.

MND169

Fuck you tabulas. fuck you full out in the face. I'm done. this is it. for anyone who's interested, i'll now be blogging on my facebook because fucking tabulas decided to fuck up and change their whole layout and prevent me from using anything that i had. fuckers. i'm done.

fuck you.

MND169

i feel like shit.

i just spent almost four hours on WoW and have little/nothing to show for it because other people are shit-faced, lice-infested, jerk-off, assholes from hell who would have been better left as a cum stain on the sheets of the cheap hotel where they were concieved and who have exactly no excuse what so ever for subjecting the rest of us to their idiocy.

Also i miss my Dino. I miss hanging out with him and i miss playing Pinochle with him and i miss playing WoW with him and i miss the warm safe feeling he used to give me, just to call him or talk to him or text him or hang out with him.

then there was alcohol. And then he was an insane jerk. See second paragraph. I wish i knew for sure that that wasn't actually him and that that was the alcohol talking. Because if i could honestly and truthfully, without even a smidgen of a doubt know that, i could try texting or calling him and see if he wanted to maybe chat or something. Hanging out is pretty much out cuz of distance, but i'd be willing to try a phone call, if i knew it wasn't going to result in me crying my eyeballs out. again.

I heard recently that he was doing pretty good on a whole, making improvements in his life, and in general just kinda doing well, and that made me happy.

i don't want to work all nights this week. my new boss said something about i'd be working mornings, but then he scheduled me nights. i need my nights. i need to see my Boo. i feel like i'm losing touch. I miss him. I want to be able to hang out and do stuff with him more than a day or a day and a half a week. that's insane.

i need to move. i don't really care where, as long as it's not here. the roommate does not take care of her animals in the slightest. she has trashed the living room w/ her stuff. she does not do her own dishes, and she leaves food and things to sit on the stove until they have molecularly bonded to the cookware. she did her damnedest to destroy my cast iron frying pans. My mother thinks she can probably fix them, but that is not the point. Every time i see or hear her pets i feel terrible because they are so neglected and mistreated. One second she's petting them and telling them how much she loves them, the next she's pitching them across the room and screaming at them. she's insane.

i want my own place. i want a place that i can decorate for holiday's if i so chose. i want a place where the dishes are ALL MINE and it's my problem if their clean or not. i want a place where we can do what we chose, when we chose w/out having to check in with anyone else, and w/out having to worry about their reactions/pets/etc. it doesn't have to be big, it's just got to have enough space for the various systems and our bed.

i don't even care about the sewing stuff any more. i can't do it here because i feel like shit every time i try. i can't put in a movie while i work half the time, the floor space across from my table is still - some four months later - just kinda covered in dog shit, i don't have enough light, it's not a comfortable space, and in addition, no one gives a fuck. no one's interested. no one cares. no one wants the things i can do because the things i can do are useless pointless wastes of time.

nothing i do is unique or special in any way, i will never stand out, and i am totally and completely unimportant.

i feel like shit.